You know why the title for today is "Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep". Well, as I recall a few days back or a month really, I asked my parents if I could go to my friend's b-day party and they said yes and my mom even made it worse, she said and I quote "If you really wanna go (because I begged, pleaded, and cried) then I can only give you fair money. How is that nay different from toll gate money!?!
Then fast forward it to yesterday, everything was quietly planned out, then I asked my mom for the money she said she was gonna send. You know what she said she gave me another "LIST OF FULL OF SHIT". "Oh I have no money because I sent the box" "Oh, I have no money because i paid my apartment". That's why I hate I hate it I hate it I FUCKING HATE IT!
When somebody gives you hope and then just takes it away or is swiped away by one word; all of my hard work gone down the drain. I gave it my all and I really thought "Hey, maybe I can go after all.". I trusted them. I trusted them to honest with me because, I am not a kid anymore. I can take the bad news, you know. They don't have to lie and lie time and time again to my face. And then tell me the truth.
You know, little by little I believe less and less that I can depend on them or better yet If can trust them or not. That's why I made a promise to myself when I get older I'll work extra hard to get what I want and to never give up so, that I won't have to depend on anybody or need help from anybody. And until that day which, won't be that far away; I can maybe forgive them. But, for now I just want to me left alone and I don't want to talk to neither of them.
Maybe, you guys may think oh I'm selfish and absurd, that I should be grateful for what I have. Well, why son't we switch bodies and see how it feels to be a kid of the two most nicest people everybody knows. And, they give you freedom and unconditional love then when it comes to just one tiny itty bitty favor or party. They say yes, then when the party is this week and you still believe they're gonna let you go; you're wrong. They plant a big speech on how hard it is right now, and oh do know how much blah blah blah and more blah..
Yeah, it's just a party but, it means more to me than that. I'm gonna be leaving this godforsaken country and I'm not gonna be seeing my friends more many years to come. And, all I wanna do is get out of this stupid hell hole house and live my fucking life! Is that too much to ask for. My tears are wasted at every opportunity I lost and do you know how many; COUNTLESS. That I can never get back, my time wasted here and is like being in jail for a crime you didn't even commit.
So, here parents a little advise "BE HONEST to you're kids even though, the truth hurts whether they're disappointed or not just do it, save them from false hope and agony." And kids "Next time, when you're mom and dad says yes, to something don't get your hopes up that much, okay". That's one lesson I learned the hard way, I guess my sister was right, I didn't want to believe it but, "Don't Expect Much".
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