UPDATE: So, I know I said I was still confused well I'm not anymore! Yesterday, I planned to talk to him one-on-one about everything and actually was gonna go behind all my friends back and give him a second chance well it just so happened that he didn't show up after an hour of waiting at McDonald's. I went home instead and well cried after dinner while listening to "Voice Within" with headphones on and eating a banana. Yeah, first time I ever got stood up! This guy is a goner ^_^ I don't need to say anything or explain why. Moving On!

I AM BETTER. I AM STILL CONFUSED.

Reasons Why We Can't Be Together

• He lied to me countless times especially about his smoking habit, yet he says he's sorry and continues to tell me that he'll change and never give up on me. I don't know what to believe and do I even trust him?
• I don't need this extra stress and physical pain in my heart. I'm too young to be heartbroken, is he even worth me crying and feeling this?
• When I don't want it, he wants it. Then when I want it, he doesn't want it. We can't meet in between it's just pretty clear that we both want different things and that it's not meant to be.
• Studies. I know where I stand and my education is everything to me being with him does take a toll on it sometimes. Like, when I'm sad I can't concentrate or when I need to do something, but I'm texting him and I  tell him I need to do it and he let's me, but later texts if I'm done even though I'm not even halfway done. He too needs to concentrate on that and get things done.
• I can't have a boyfriend till I'm 21, when I am stable and have a good education already my Mom said. I think 18 is a good age since I'm practically legal, but I'm okay with 21 actually. 
• I don't think I'm mature enough, I'm looking for love in all the wrong places. 
• I'm leaving soon. Long Distance, it could be a beautiful blessing or a dreadful curse by holding me down. Being tied down this young is just unacceptable.
• Going behind my parents backs is just not a feeling I would want on my shoulders. It may be a fun little secret, but I tell them everything even if you tell me that I shouldn't I just do, okay. And, to tell you the truth I'm the good girl I listen to them in my own way. 
• All my friends say I should move on, because he's just this cold-hearted guy who leaves me hanging on and let's me put in all the effort. He likes the chase and once it ends, he changes and shows his real colors by not even giving a damn. And, that I would meet somebody who's more deserving of my. Is this really him who they say he is? 

Reasons Why I Keep Holding On

• I like him. There's just something he does, his smile. He just does something so right that makes all the wrong disappear.
• He really is shy. Others may suspect and judge that he's cold, he doesn't put in the effort, and stuff. But, being with him even for just a short period of time it's so obvious he's not the others and they don't understand him. Yeah, though it may look as if like he doesn't care and he's never there when I need him and he picks his friends over me, and he barely even gets near me. But, he's there I can feel it even though I don't see it. I always make the first move, because I have too and if you don't believe try these sites why: http://www.gurl.com/2013/10/19/tips-on-how-to-date-a-shy-guy/#1 and http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Shy-Guy-Likes-You . Trust me if there was a quiz for this he would have passed it! He really is like that. It said in the end that I shouldn't be too pushy and that I shouldn't take his shyness personally.
• I saw something in him that made me completely honest with him. I told him about "boundaries" and how I don't want to get hurt anymore and the fact that I don't give up easily. I really am somebody who pushes and gives effort that my love will actually suffocate you. He listens to me and it just means the world to me, when were just there talking. 
• Before I said no matter what he did I'm okay with it, but after a little space for a week and now going two weeks I just feel as though I'm not a toy to be played with. It's either love or crazy talk! 
• I don't know him that well I'm still in the getting-to-know him stage. I don't want to judge so quickly. 

CONCLUSION

I can either walk away and listen to what other people say and be free or stay and take a chance on him, see how it goes. It was amazing, but good things don't last very long. I think I should talk to him about how I feel. I really am willing to give him another chance, but this coming semester I don't feel like having someone tie me down, I want to concentrate on my work and studies. For now, I'm letting it be though I'm not okay with that. I really would like to just talk it out and not leave someone hanging. I'm such an idiot! Why do I give out chances to these guys, but in the end reject them! Then when I look at the whole relationship at the time I'm the one who gets hurt? And, quite frankly I'm too irrational. 

AT THE MALL: HALLOWEEN WINDOW SHOPPING WITH NIC NIC & KARAOKE WITH MONKEY ^O^

HEHE Doesn't it suit me? ^_^




PART 1

HALLOWEEN WINDOW SHOPPING(because we're broke!  XD) W/ NIC NIC

Check out all the cool Halloween decor they have @PandayanBookstore

Such an addict to blood haha XD

The Ridiculous Masks :D

LOL Guess which one is me!

Chewing on Bloody Things XD

PART 2

KARAOKE WITH MONKEY ^O^

I'm super downright crazy for that shirt. >.< It used to be my  Mom's, but I couldn't resist!!! haha

Yeah!!! Blurred!!!! + No Make-Up!!!! hahahah looking Horrible :D

Go Monkey Yea yea!! Go Monkey!! 

He sounds awesome by the way..just brava!!! bravo!!!!

LOL I joked around in the mic what the couple was doing inside the booth for making fun of them like saying "oh the guy is going in for the kiss and she rejects it, by playfully bumping him on the shoulder" LOL the dude who worked there looked at me funny and obviously I was so stupid and didn't listen to my sister that apparently they can hear me XP ^^"

I wanted to play this so bad, but all the kids kept on hogging it. -.-

Yeah, they totally put the curtain on the wrong spot. XD 

See how clear you can see through that window!?!?! It ain't my fault if I have eyes!

END

Your's Truly,

Ashley

Stay Sweet :3

♥ STAY STRONG LOVE PARADE♥ - Everyone's in college now and we sort of lost ourselves along the way, but everyone felt better catching up with our PAINFULLY BEAUTIFUL MESSED UP LIVES. (courtesy of my bestfriend Nic Nic ^_^)

♥SEM-BREAK PHOTOSHOOT♥ MY FAVORITE LOOKS! :))

♥ NATURAL KISSABLE LIPS ♥

♥ FANCY BUSY PARTY GIRL ♥

♥ SEVENTEEN READY ♥

♥ PATRIOTIC JULY ♥

♥ CLUB VIOLET RAY ♥

BREAKING K-POP NEWS!!!! OFFICIAL TROUBLEMAKER "NOW" MV . >.+ To be honest, I didn't see the R-rated stuff at all if anything Hyuna is more clothed! My whole reaction was just "That's it?" XD yeah. yeah.

BBN: K-POP NEWS!!!: SOME SEXY TROUBLEMAKER TEASERS TO GET YOU ALL FIRED UP!!! ^_^

BBN: INSPIRIT NEWS!!! HEY YO!! THIS WEIRDLY INTERESTING TITLE "REQUEST" GOT ME THINKING IS INFINITE BACK??? WHAT SEEMS AS THOUGH THEY GOT THEIR SPARKS BACK :D DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!!! INFINITE FWIGHTING!!!! ALWAYS SHINING!!! SUCH SAD LYRICS FOR A NICE SONG TOO. NO ONE ELSE COULD FOOL ME THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY A SAD LOVE SONG INSTEAD OF A HAPPY UPBEAT SONG EXCEPT INFINITE!!!

BBN: K-POP NEWS!!! LOVING IT OR HATING IT???? IU'S NEW QUIRKY YET CUTE HAIRCUT

UPDATE: Watching #ZombieLand =)) haha

UPDATE: Watching Meet The Robinsons :D

UPDATE: ATTENTION K-POP PANDA'S & FELLOW INSPIRITS!!! WANNA JOIN?? :D

♥SEM-BREAK SWIMMING @PAGSANJAN, PHILIPPINES ♥

Oct. 23, 2013

Taking A Break.

This was the first resort we went too, it's pretty close to my friend's house and the entrance fee is pretty cheap around 70 pesos. Although, it looks pretty nice and nature-y it still is under some major changes. I guess its obvious plus! Its a new resort. :)) 

Too bad we didn't get to swim though, the whole place was rented for a birthday at 12 o'clock. My friend's mom was really pissed! She complained that next time they should put a sign that there will be an occasion going on and that they're not expecting or accepting any walk-ins.  Anyway, I enjoyed the view specifically it helped me relax and release some stress. :))

 

If you look down there's a baby turtle in there :))

LOL I couldn't resist!!! hahaha..(The Ring)

I felt like EPIC walking on the leaves. ^_^

@Hanging Bridge

It was moving!!! Like, seriously!! The metal kept on moving as we walked and it gave me a major headache!! I gotta admit I did feel like Dora haha XD Then, my friend's mom got hit on by these two old geezers at the bottom of the lake. T

hey were cat-calling and whistling, the funny thing is! That, my friend and my sister thought they were calling out to them, because we were in shorts when all of a sudden i heard one of them say "The one in Pink!" and I stopped for a second to check who was wearing the color pink then I have noticed it was my friend's mom. We literally felt like puking, it was just wrong!!!! Off-limits!!! and So uncool!!!! 

LOL My friend's mom just like, because I have more sex appeal then you kids. HAHA Can you say scarred??? XD

@Pagsanjan Falls Lodge

So, this resort is pretty old like ancient! I guess. XD It was my first time going there I was terrified and not at all what I expected. I mean I've heard from the news and well people that every year somebody dies there from drowning or whatever. Yeah!!! I thought the worst things ever!!! But, I looked at it and it's not so scary actually it's all fine. Hehe.. 

This is were the "Rock Story" happened and also waving to random tourists. :)) I had fun though I spaced out a lot. I gotta tell ya, I practiced my swimming skills, finally!!! hehe... I can swim in 6ft and 7ft now! :D But, I still almost drowned like at least 2-5 times haha XD Who cares!!! I also got to do the Butterfly Stroke of Anger!!! :) Yah! That's right I got muscles and toned legs now! And, I finally got to wear a bikini though I'm still insecure haha.. 

The Hanging Bridge from afar

Riding a jeepney to my friend's house. I took a picture of the new mall near town, "Areza" It's still under construction. It seems enticing, but I'm not going there till there's a department store and a  theater!!! hehe.. and maybe even some fast food restaurants, please!!! >.< hihi On, the bright side I heard they already have Watsons and Robinsons :D

Then a sleepover at my house to end the day!! :)) 

Your's Truly,

Ashley

Stay Sweet!!