Thursday, November 13, 2014
She sits there lifeless. Crying on the inside till finally a tear sheds. She thinks about what you have done. She thinks about everything. She knows what she feels anger, sadness, disappointment, hurt...but because she loved you so much she hid it from you. She wanted to give you everything you deserved. Everything you wanted. But inside she was dying when you would light up for another girl or play games with your buddies and come home late or drink away with your professor in her house. Is she wrong to feel so? She doesn't want to hurt you, but in return she's only hurting herself and you in the end with the everlasting fights and misunderstandings. Could this be the end? She wonders as she hears herself say "I'm done" in her head. She tried to be something she's not, but the truth came out slowly and painfully. It killed her. You killed her. Because, when you ask her these things and she replies "Okay. You do whatever you want." It is not okay and you don't do whatever you want. Because it hurts her.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Christmas is on the way!! Even if there's still lots to do like the outside lights display, the big parol, window display, and the tiny Christmas tree upstairs but, I'm super psyched helping make my grandma's "White Christmas" come true. #workingprogress
I guess I'm always gonna be that busy bee who takes on way too much for my own good. What can I say? That I love being in charge? I love having people listen to my ideas and actually creating something totally different than the usual norm? It's great and all, but sometimes it comes to a point that breaking down is my calling card. It's what heals me inside when I feel like my mind is full of heated lava ready to burst at any moment! That I end up crawling back up like a baby in despair. I know I gotta lessen the reigns a bit and actually have people take over and let them do their job. It's hard juggling everything putting myself on the line all the time. It's exhausting and quite frankly lonely. I don't wanna be a human assistant for the rest of my life. Because, at the end of the day that's why people think I'm always available even invincible to the fact that I could do anything they tell me to do. I've been a "Yes-Girl" for far too long now, its time I start saying "No."